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book review: guy’s guide to god, girls, and the phone in your pocket

I’d like to introduce you to a new favorite book for teenage guys: The Guy’s Guide to God, Girls, and the Phone in Your Pocket, by youth ministry author, speaker, and leader Jonathan McKee.

McKee writes to teenage guys in a creative and captivating way. He covers a wide range of topics, from proper use of cologne to nudity and sex. Each “chapter” is titled with the bottom line advice and is followed by stories, personal insights, scripture, questions, and final thoughts.

Some of my favorite pieces of advice for teenage guys that McKee includes:

• “God wants you to enjoy a naked woman… one naked woman.”
• “Learn a skill that would help you survive a zombie apocalypse.” (A clever reference to McKee’s zombie apocalypse devo for teens.)
• “Don’t text and drive until you’ve learned how to juggle straight razors nude.”

One of my favorite aspects of the book is the opportunity for reflection included with each piece of advice in the form of questions. It would be a great book to explore with a guys small group or even as a father and son study. It could get awkward, but it can lead to very important conversations.

It’s a great read for any teenage guy, but I would say that it would be best for guys ages 14 to 16. At the same time, anyone who reads these pages are bound to learn something useful. I found the advice about sleep and smartphones profound. I know the consequences of looking at your phone right before dozing off to sleep, yet I keep doing it. I also know that if I want to live a healthy life and be an example to the students in my ministry, I need to follow McKee’s advice:

“Turn off your phone at night. The consequences of leaving it on are pretty straightforward, and let’s be real: you aren’t going to miss much if it’s off. Do yourself a favor and power down when you brush your teeth” (McKee, page 20).

hsm serve seattle – day 2 & 3

Wow. The last two days were so full of amazing things! Lots of work, lots of laughs, lots of fun.

I was going to write a post about all that we did, the projects we did, and the people we served, but all that matters is simply this: God is at work.

Our students are engaging in community. We’re serving with joyful hearts. We’re seeing God at work, both in the city and in our hearts. I’ve had multiple conversations about how God is wrecking our students for Him. I’m so excited for you to hear more, but for now, we’ve been going non-stop for the last 17 hours, and it’s time for bed.

Thank you for your continued prayers!

hsm serve seattle – day 1

We made it!

I’m sitting in the cafe of Ballard Church, watching a small group of students playing a quite game of cards and hearing another group play a loud game upstairs.

Today was a great day! We bonded over the 7 hour (with stops) trip to Seattle. All of our students are super excited about the week, and we can’t wait to start serving Seattle!

Highlights from the day:

– We prayed. We began with prayer at the very beginning of the day. I loved that parents prayed with us. What an awesome gift! We prayed throughout our trip for our truck. It’s having electrical issues, and we literally laid hands on the truck after lunch at McDonald’s in Moses Lake, WA. It was weird, it was awkward, but it was GOOD. It showed that we rely on God. It modeled to our students that we really aren’t in control. And we continued in prayer when we arrived, thanking God for safe arrival, that the truck made it in one piece, and that we have a place to lay our heads at night.

– We grew closer to each other. Through long ours in the church van and other vehicles, we got to know each other’s music likes (and dislikes), we learned who falls asleep with their mouth wide open, and we shared stories. What a great phone-free environment. 🙂

– We instituted the Image of God Awards. These awards (toy crowns from Wal-Mart) are awarded to individuals at dinner who exhibited Christ-like attitudes during the day. It was great to hand these to students with the anticipation of them handing them to someone else tomorrow night.

Thanks for your continued prayer! We’ll keep you posted

i’m tired

Tomorrow is the final day of preparation for our high school mission trip to Seattle. It is the final day to rest before seven days of early mornings, late nights, manual labor, and exceedingly long stints of extroversion.

And I’m already tired.

Caffeine has been one of my closest friends the past few weeks. It’s always been there for me during the long days of preparing for this trip and maintaining other daily tasks. But there is only so much this legal drug can do. Only so much energy it can fake before the inevitable crash. And while caffeine will continue to be there for me through the thick and thin of this next week, it, too, has it’s limits.

So entering into this mission trip, there are two things I know for sure: (1) I’m tired, and (2) whatever success, whatever building of the kingdom, whatever individual growth happens on this trip has to be because of God, not me.

I’m reminded of Mike Erre’s thoughts in Astonished, “This is the paradox of strength and weakness: that I am strongest when I am weakest; I am most usable when I am in over my head; Jesus is most present when I am at the end of my rope.”

I’m thankful that I worship a God who is strong in my weakness. Who uses me in my weakness to be strong. And who will be present always. I’m starting this week with the realization that God is going to show up. God will continue to be present. God will work.

And I wonder if God is chuckling with Himself at my tiredness, knowing that if I was well-rested, it would be too easy to point to me in successes; but because I’m already so tired, it will be much easier to point to Him.

Again, I’m so glad that God is in control.

youth pastor fail

I am flawed. But God is not.

The pastor was calling those who he talked to last week to come forward and be available for prayer during communion. Yes, he emailed me to ask if I was willing to help, but because of the busyness of preparing for a mission trip, I forget to email him back.

So technically, I wasn’t obligated to be present to pray for others. And part of me was glad. I got to bed late the night before, there were so many things on my mind, and the last place I wanted to be was in front of the congregation, standing at attention, ready to pray with people.

Then something in me (let’s just call it the Holy Spirit) told me that I really should go. So after an internal struggle, I handed James over to his mother and reluctantly walked up with the rest of the “prayers.”

I stood there, doubtful that anyone would come to me for prayer.

And then I saw him – the student who has been struggling with his faith, unsure of where he stands with God – walking toward me. Let me just say this: I’m so glad that I’m not God because I would fail. Miserably.

This student, who has such an authentic heart for trying to seek God, who has been struggling with what it means to be a Christ-follower, who doesn’t really know where he stands, proceeded to give his life back to God, rededicating himself to following Christ.

Wow. Again, I’m so glad that I’m not God, and that God is God. And I can’t believe that he would let a reluctant, avoiding, sinful person like me partner with Him in His mission. Of course, this student would probably have made the same decision if I was still in my pew, wallowing in my bad attitude. But I’m glad that God was able to use me, imperfect as I am, for His purposes.

What an amazing God!

what i’m reading – june ’14

I’ve decided to copy my wife’s “What I’m Reading” video post, and make one of my own.

Watch, learn, and let me know your thoughts.  I’d also love to know what you’re reading in the comments below!

 

a new view on christmas

For some reason, I began watching one of my sermon videos this evening from the Sunday after Christmas.  While I usually like to review what I do in an effort to be a better communicator next time, I rarely go back months later and watch it again.

But tonight was different.  As I began to watch myself walk nervously across the stage and introduce myself to the congregation, I actually started listening to the content, not just noticing the way the words were being presented or the way I move my hands in a predictable pattern when I talk.  And what I heard struck me in a powerful way, almost as if I had never heard this before (even though I was the one who said it).

There is a theme in the story of Jesus’ birth that doesn’t get touched on in many advent seasons.  It’s not a sermon that is heard on Christmas Eve.  Come to think of it, it’s not even that much of a Christmas-y thought…  But, nevertheless, there it is.  Throughout the story of Jesus’ birth, it’s there.

• When Mary became pregnant, she had to release control of the life she thought she was going to lead.
• When Joseph heard about the baby, he had to release control of his pride and stand alongside Mary in this confusing time.
• When it came to the census, they both had to release control of the comfort of home and travel to Bethlehem, a 3+ day journey in the heat.
• When there was no room for them at the inn, they had to release control and place their newborn son in a feeding trough.
• They had to release control when shepherds invaded the delivery room, smelly and loud.
• And again, they had to release control when a stranger picked up Jesus and started praising God in the middle of a busy temple while trying to exercise their religious routine.

I’m sure that Mary and Joseph learned early on that control goes out the window when dealing with God; trusting him with this pregnancy and this child.

Not a Hallelujah Chorus or a “no crying he makes” baby.  No, this is real.  This is powerful. This is God showing the world that when His will be done on earth as it is in heaven, He has got to be the one in control.  And when we try to gain control, we only get in the way.

Just an interesting thought on a random night, but one that continues to be powerful and relevant over and over again.

Lord, help me to let you control in a way that only you know how.  Amen.

James Atticus Gardner

It’s been just over two months since James arrived January 27th at 9:22 a.m.  Wow – has it already been that long?  And how has it only been two months?!  In the last eight weeks, my emotions have been all over the map.  With each new day of fatherhood comes a new adventure in trusting God.

It all started with an adrenaline rush that began when Emily said, “I think my water just broke,” continued when I held James for the first time, all warm and snug in his swaddle, and started to wane as 24 of sleeplessness hit me in the postpartum wing of the hospital.

As we left the hospital, adrenaline turned to fear.  Emily and I are now RESPONSIBLE. Who cleared us to be parents?  I’ll never forget the scary feeling of driving back to the hospital within six hours of leaving because we were worried about him.  I often still find myself listening for our breathing child at night, making sure he’s okay.

Fear is often trumped by joy and excitement.  Our family has grown by one, and I could not imagine a more perfect child.  The last two months have been two of the best and most challenging months of my life.

It truly is a daily adventure.  No knowing what tomorrow will hold for Emily, James, and I. But what’s great is that I can rest in the knowledge that God knows.  And that’s going to have to be good enough for me.

dear emily…

Dear Emily,

It’s Valentine’s Day.  A day that has been wildly commercialized.  It’s a day that people spend a lot of money on chocolate and decorate with pinks and reds that make any room look like the Hallmark Store had a fight with itself.  And lost.

And while there are many who publicly oppose the notion of celebrating such a day that commercializes love, I believe the heart behind the day is pure.

Today gives children an opportunity to express their care for one another through cleverly themed valentine notes at school.  Today gives little girls a chance to tell little boys that they think he’s cute.  Today gives classmates something to look forward to, even if it’s just the candy. Today reminds us that we need to tell our loved ones that they are special.

So I want to take this opportunity, this Valentine’s Day, to let you know how much you mean to me.

I admire you.  I admire the way you mother our little James.  He is a precious gift from God, and God has graciously given him to us to take care of.  You do this beautifully.  You love him perfectly.  You care for his needs, well, in ways that I physically can’t.  I could not think of a better mom for our James.

I enjoy you.  That is, I enjoy spending time with you.  I enjoy that we are both introverts, and that we can both be content with sitting in silence and have by-you time (you more than me, sometimes).

I look forward to continued primitive roads with you.  Ever since that literal primitive road in rural eastern Washington, I knew life with Emily would be filled with primitive roads.  And I wouldn’t have it any other way.  We have had many adventures in our short life together, and this will probably not end.  We’ll likely have so many more primitive road experiences, and I love that.  I love that I get to experience them with you.

I appreciate your love.  Your love for me is great, I see that every day.  And I appreciate the way you love me.  I appreciate you letting me sleep (even though I really want to help change diapers in the middle of the night… really!).  I appreciate breakfast in bed once in a while (really, you shouldn’t have!).  I appreciate the way you hug me in the mornings and after I come home from work.  The way you love me is perfect.

To be honest, the words are not enough.  I love you more than I can express.  I love you more than I ever thought possible.

It’s Valentine’s Day.  A day to stop and reflect on the loves in your life.  I know that today is not the only day to do this, and that expressing love is a daily act in any relationship.  But today, this is how I will say: I love you, my Emily.