God: “do you trust me?”

I’m about to be a dad.  Yes, our little James is already here, and he’s been alive for going on nine months, but he’s about to be HERE.  His flailing body, fragile head, and tiny fingers are about to be a reality in my arms.  That scares me poopless.  What if I hold him wrong?  What happens when he cries for hours on end for no apparent reason?  I’ve never even changed a diaper!  How do I know that his delivery will be successful?  Will he be healthy?  What if he has some sort of medical disability?  What if…?  How do I…?  Ahhh!!

Emily and I just got home from another preparing for childbirth class in which we learned all about the complications associated with pain management and the interventions that may need to be taken at anytime during labor.  What happens if James’ cord comes out the wrong way and we have to go into emergency surgery?  Will the nurse anesthetist miss the epidural layer and cause Emily’s heart to stop?  Will our baby suffer from Erb’s palsy?

Not only that, but how are we going to afford another member in our family?  I don’t make all that much as a youth pastor and Emily doesn’t work.  I’m certainly not complaining about what God has blessed us with, but is it going to be enough?  Labor is expensive enough, and then we have diapers and clothes and… college!

Welcome to my world.

These thoughts can be all-consuming.  Every ounce of mental and emotional energy can be wrapped up in the “what if” and the unknown.  It doesn’t have to be about becoming a father or struggling with money.  This world is filled with problems, issues, and fears.  And it’s in times like these in which we need to look to God.

I imagine Aladdin to be an accurate picture of God in my life right now.

Aladdin

He’s looking at me, on His carpet of faith with his hand extended, asking: “Do you trust me?”

And my response has to be a simple “yes.”  And when I do that, I am taking His hand, stepping out in faith, and letting Him guide me and my family on this adventure called life.

I don’t know what the future holds, but I believe that God does.  And I’m far better off placing my hand in His, giving Him my worries, and letting Him guide.

What fears do you need to give to God?  And where do you need to let Him guide? 

Photo credit here.

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9 thoughts on “God: “do you trust me?”

  1. Tim, You are going to be a GREAT dad. You and Emily will be fantastic parents, equipped by God for exactly what He is calling you to do.
    “Be anxious for NOTHING, but in EVERYTHING, by prayer and supplication, with thanksgiving, let your requests be made known to God, and the PEACE which surpasses all understanding will guard your hearts and minds in Christ Jesus. ~Phil. 4:6-8

  2. No doubt having a baby changes your life, but it is also such an amazing opportunity to rely on God more than you ever have before! You guys will do great and find your new normal soon. And luckily, teenagers love babies so it works well to incorporate your newest family member into your ministry. 🙂

  3. Tim,
    Thank you so much for your honest and heartfelt words. I shared them with my husband who said that is exactly how he felt with our first blessing, William. If there is anything I can tell you it is that all the struggles, challenges, new adventures and changes that will happen are so incredibly wonderful. God never gives us anything we can’t handle. When you watch how your little miracle will not only give you a greater understanding of selfless love, but will bring you and Emily even closer it is such a blessing. You will be amazing parents!!

    • I bet most parents go through this thought process at some point! And we’re definitely excited. Thanks for the comment!

  4. Pingback: the waiting game | Timothy J Gardner

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