It was a nine month process of searching for the right job and right place to live. Knowing the job I had was going to end in June, I began the search for a new job in December. As the end of graduate school and our wedding approached, so did my job’s end. And as time passed more quickly (as it has a tendency to do) our anxiety levels began to rise at the same rate.
Shortly before our wedding, I received a call from the basket we had put all of our eggs in to. That church felt like the other candidate was a better fit. The wedding was in thirteen short days, and we had no place to live and no source of sustainable income. Our blissful married-life-to-be was quickly turning out to be full of unknowns and anxiety.
After receiving the bad news, we quickly turned to the Psalms, which we had been in the habit of doing. Thirteen days before our wedding… Psalm 13.
How long, Lord? Will you forget me forever?
How long will you hide your face from me?
How long must I wrestle with my thoughts
and day after day have sorrow in my heart?
How long will my enemy triumph over me?
Look on me and answer, Lord my God.
Give light to my eyes, or I will sleep in death,
and my enemy will say, “I have overcome him,”
and my foes will rejoice when I fall.
The words of David had never rang so clear in our hearts. How long must we sit in wait for the right place? Will we never have a place to belong? This Psalm speaks right to the heart of how we were feeling: sitting in a puddle of despair and uncertainty. And I am so glad that David didn’t stop there. He goes on in the very next verse, saying:
But I trust in your unfailing love;
my heart rejoices in your salvation.
I will sing the Lord’s praise,
for he has been good to me.
We worship a good God, and despite our circumstances and uncertainty, we trust in His unfailing love and goodness. With this sense of trust and what I call “faithful waiting,” we marched forth in spite of rejection and the unknown. As the summer progressed, the pay for my job was extended through August, we lived rent free for three months, and after a series of events that only God could have seen coming, we landed in Idaho on September 8th.
I cannot look back on this summer and not see the goodness of God working in and through us as we learned to be faithful in our waiting. Philippians 4:7 (“And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus“) rings ever true. I cannot begin to fathom how the peace of our Father in heaven works, but it does. Both Emily and I are able to say that we experienced the peace and love that comes from a life with God, despite our circumstances.
It has been a summer of tears, as we left family and friends in California.
It has been a summer of learning to trust, as we began to let go of control and followed God in the uncertainty.
It has been a summer of reviving faith, as we have learned (and are continually learning!) how to place faith in our loving Father.
Welcome to Reviving Faith… where everyday is a new adventure in God’s grace.